“The greatest gift you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence."

 - Denis Waitley 

In the intricate tapestry of a student’s life, one thread often stands out prominently: Parental Expectations. The dynamics between parents and their children, especially concerning academic and societal achievements, is a double-edged sword that can be both motivating and burdensome.

Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s educational experiences  and success. Their outlook on their children’s potential and endeavors influence the overall mindset and motivation of the children for the future and even present. While high parental expectations can encourage students to succeed and portray their full potential, unrealistic and overly demanding expectations can lead to demotivation and a sense of fear and anxiety.

A recent survey conducted in our school¹ sheds light on the prevalent influence of parental expectations and its impacts on the students. Amidst the ample academic and societal expectations, 82.62% of the students reported having parents with high expectations of them. A strong sense of trust and belief concerned with the student helps in boosting and maintaining their academic performance. This ultimately helps instil a strong work ethic in students which can be of great necessity for their future career path. While parental encouragement serves as a catalyst for personal growth, the margin between constructive support and overwhelming pressure is often overlooked.

A significant portion of 39.17% admitted to feeling pressured by their parents’ expectations ranging from academic performance, pursuit of higher education and socially desirable career choices. The desire to meet the parental standards along with maintaining high end profile in the society and school can lead to stress, anxiety, fear, and a sense of inadequacy, impacting the overall wellbeing and mental health of the students.

While unrealistic and overwhelming parental outlook is often associated with the mindset and perspective of their life, over half the students [51.91%] believed that societal expectations contribute to the formation of parental expectations. This correlation highlights the impacts of societal norms and practices on parents as well as students. People, including parents often tend to consciously or subconsciously internalise societal standards of success ultimately leading to projection of such standards onto their children, forming a cycle of expectation.

A significant portion, comprising 33.44% of the students, expressed feeling burdened by such high end expectations and yearned for a change with only 15.92% of students indicating they would impose similar expectations on their children if they were in parents’ place. Parents having rigid expectations for their children’s future endeavours, can even limit students’ autonomy and exploration. They may feel the ultimate need to fulfil their parents’ desired standards rather than pursuing their passion and interests. While parental anticipations cannot be entirely regarded as non-beneficial and pressuring for students, there seems to be a need for a shift of mindset from traditional to a more inclusive and improvised one.

Despite the challenges posed by parental expectations, a notable 70.7% of students considered their parents’ actions and expectations to be justified. The acknowledgement of the root cause of burdening parental standards highlights the understanding of the societal conditions and its impacts. Many students recognize the intentions behind their parents’ aspirations, despite the uncertain execution.

The discourse surrounding parental expectations requires a balanced approach that considers both the reason and possible outcomes of them. While there is no wonder there can be a generational shift in the perspective of viewing a student’s life, it is important to note that such change requires time and patience between both parties. With the gravity of parental expectations on students' lives, it is essential to strike a balance that nurtures personal growth and mental wellbeing. Proper communication, mutual understanding, and realistic goal setting can help decline the adverse effects of excessive expectations and foster a strong bond between parents and children while achieving their set goals further in life.

Concluding, parental expectations exert a profound influence in a students’ life, shaping their aspirations, mindset and sense of self. By maintaining a mutual understanding of the standards and aspirations, students can navigate the complexities of parental expectations, empowering them to thrive in both academic and personal space. 

1. A survey conducted among 125 students of grade 8, 9 and 10 regarding the matter of parental expectations.